Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Illusion of Control

I was headed for bed and began the ceremony that leads up to such an event when I heard that annoying whine of two (or perhaps four) wings humming across the air toward my head. I, being only 'unafraid' of things flying at me in public, ducked for cover. After a moment of silence I saw my tormentor land on the light (how typical) and catch his breath. Wait, do insects breathe? Anyway, reaching for a handy tool of destruction I swiped at him. He (she, it) flew through the air, this time involuntarily, to my dresser. He disappeared momentarily till I caught him moving again. This time he began flying in circles to the rhythm of and the path of the fan. How impressive! He topped this act with timing his rotations so that he could fly betwixt the blades of my ceiling fan as he circled. I was appreciative of his ability but I still not enough to want him plaguing me whilst I slept. Thus I renewed my attack only to send him buzz-buzz-buzzing behind a picture frame. Here I determined that sleep was of more value and I halted the battle for my rest. As I lay there, I reflected on the fact that I was determined to destroy the bug not because I had to, but because I could.
How often do I justify my action with a quick "just because I can." Am I some cosmic bully who sends down consternation and destruction upon those things that are under my control which displease me. There is nothing wrong with killing bugs, in my mind, but what startled me was the realization of my motives.
Am I always like this? Do I wreak havoc on people or things, or bugs, because I can get away with it? How disturbing.
I calls to mind the fat man who says "I'll eat it because I want to, not because of its nutritional value." Or the boy (I would call him a man but he does not deserve that title) who has premarital sex because he can. Or the girl who gets an abortion because its "my body." Is it just me, or do we live in a society that does things because it can, not because it needs to.
We want to believe we are in control, that we can do what we want. Our society has worked very hard to try and create the ability to make your own choices and then control the consequences.
Birth Control, artificially injected Insulin, things like Tums or Pepto Bismal because you can't control what you eat, even so much as Tylenol for that nasty hangover you gave yourself, what about energy drinks because you didn't have enough sense to go to bed on time. This is the illusion our culture has created. Do what you want and find something or someone else to deal with it.
Why do our attempts at control fall so far short? Because we were not designed to take over the running of our own lives. God wants that privilege. Not as a the "cosmic killjoy that he has been deemed by the world, but as the shepherd of his sheep. The problem is society deplores the idea of God. Because then, He is in control and we, are not. Christopher Hitchens the late atheist once said "Religion is not belief in God, it is the belief that God tells you what to do." No wonder we can't stand the idea of God. We like to have things just so. "Its my way or the highway buster." Listen for it, our culture is thick with it. Everything from art to industry. 'We want what we want an' ain't nobodeh gonna stop us.'
Is God a road block to our fun, or is there another reason that he desires to walk us through life? The chief end of man is to "glorify God and enjoy Him forever." If we are serving ourselves we completely blow off any effectiveness we have to that end. If we let God steer the ship we are fulfilling our end to the fullest because that's what brings him glory.
Who will be in charge. You? Because your life will come crashing down around you as you try and patch up from your mistakes and keep control of your consequences.
Will it be the one who made you. Who is in control whether you acknowledge Him or not.
It gets a lot bigger than squished bugs, but I know who rules my life.

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